We live and operate in an environment of assumed, unwritten agreements in our personal lives and in our business and personal relationships with others.  Most of the conflicts we encounter in our daily lives are the result of this failure to understand what others believe to be the agreement we have for a specific activity.

   In these unwritten, and even in written, agreements each party may have a completely different vision of what our goal is for our cooperative activity.

  Even if the vision is reasonably well understood we each may have a different understanding of what the duties, responsibilities, and commitments each of us has made in order to bring the vision to realization.  What promises have I made relative to the accomplishment of this activity?  What promises do the others involved believe I have made?  What promises have the others involved made to the accomplishment of this activity?  Does what I believe they have promised agree with what they believe they have promised?

   Is the investment in time and resources that I am going to have to make to fulfill my obligations to this activity worth what I will get from the activity?  If not, why am I entering into this activity?  Is the investment in time and resources that others are going to have to make to fulfill their obligations to this activity worth what they will get from this activity?  If not, why are they entering into this activity?

   How will we each be able to tell if the others have fulfilled their roles and promises?  Are there real and unambiguous measurements of satisfaction that each of us can use as a yardstick to see if we have all met our responsibilities?

  As I enter into this agreement, what are my concerns and fears?  What are the concerns and fears of the others as they enter into this agreement?  What must we do to address these concerns and fears as we formulate the agreement?  Is there some way we can structure our agreement so that we avoid future conflicts?

   No matter how much effort we put into this agreement, there are going to be changes in future circumstances that will require us to rethink and renegotiate the agreement.  If this agreement becomes burdensome to me or to the others in this agreement and one or more of us wants to terminate the agreement, have we provided an equitable way to do this?

   What are the consequences to me and to the others if one or more of us fail to fulfill our commitments and responsibilities?

   We are all human and no matter how carefully we construct an agreement and no matter how hard each of us tries to fulfill our commitments and responsibilities, inevitably there will be conflicts that arise.  How are we going to make each other aware of these conflicts before they grow so big that we are unable to resolve them?  Once we are aware of the conflicts, have we agreed on a procedure for satisfactorily resolving the conflict?

   When we have answered all of the above questions, are we all still willing to enter into an agreement?  Do we have an agreement?  Are we ready to start?  If not, what do we need to do in order to have an agreement and be ready to start?  Until every one of the parties to the agreement is satisfied, we should not enter into an agreement.

   All of these questions should be satisfied in every agreement before we enter into it.  This applies to agreements between individuals.  It applies to anyone planning to enter into a business  relationship.   It applies to parties already in business relationship.  It applies to parties before they enter into personal relationships.  It applies to people who are already in personal relationships.

   If we can consider the above points and structure an agreement before we commit to a relationship, we have gone a long way down the road to conflict avoidance.  If we are already in conflict, we need to resolve the conflict along the lines set forth in our conflict resolution proposal and then, if we can’t resolve the conflict, decide what we are going about it.

   Resolution without Litigation, Inc. is prepared to help you answer the above questions and structure a written agreement.

Resolution without Litigation will provide a facilitator for the agreement meeting(s) and for developing an agreement based on the results of the meeting(s).  The meeting(s) can be held in Resolution without Litigation facilities or at some other agreed location.  The only thing that is important about the location is that it be neutral and nonthreatening for all parties.

   While it is not required, we recommend that the parties read Stewart Levine’s book entitled The Book of Agreement prior to the meeting(s)

For more information or to make an appointment:

Phone: 281-789-4029 or email: rwl@hlg-law.com